Tony’s Blog

Thou Shalt Use Whichevereth Type of Toothpaste Thou Wantest - Breaking the Commandments of Narcissism (Finally!)

People in relationships with narcissists, or extremely emotionally immature people, are often convinced, coerced, or controlled into believing that certain universal rules or commandments must be followed to continue in the relationship. In healthy relationships, both people are free to express how they do things and their likes and dislikes. Then if a change is […]

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Dealing with Discomfort In Relationships…and Life!

Tony dissects a couple's potentially destructive conversation, examining discomfort and anxiety's role in our relationships. He also talks about the challenges of relying on memory when attempting to have difficult conversations.   And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel to see a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True […]

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Dana Killion, Author of “Where The Shadows Dance” on Finding Strength When You Feel You Have None

Author Dana Killion joins Tony to discuss her memoir “Where the Shadows Dance,” available for pre-order at https://amzn.to/3yR0gIp Dana’s story is born of a life in turmoil and her husband’s addiction, a situation where the only way through was to write it. And as she wrote, the themes of her personal trauma became clear and […]

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Listen to Your Gut: What Your Tummy Tells You About Your Anxiety - Camila Smith, LCSW

Tony welcomes Camila Smith, LCSW, to the Virtual Couch. Camila is a psychotherapist, educator, and the Chief Clinical Officer of Bekome (http://joinbekome.co). Camila specializes in gut health, with an advanced doctoral focus in mental health and clinical nutrition. Tony and Camila talk about the current state of the mental health system as practitioners which often […]

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Let ME Explain Narcissism and Emotional Immaturity to Your Friends, So You Don’t Have To!

When asked if Tony had a podcast to refer to people who were moderately interested in learning about narcissism, he said, "of course I do!" And then he couldn't find one. This episode is for those of you who want to try and explain your situation to people you care about who want to know […]

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McKinley Overbay - When Your Moment of Insane Courage Leads to Big Change…and a Little Bit of Throw Up

Virtual Couch favorite and Tony's daughter, McKinley "Mackie" Overbay, joins the podcast to talk about some big changes happening in her life and how she has been able to do difficult, scary things despite having "all of the emotions." You can follow Mackie on Instagram @beautybymackie and mention the Virtual Couch Podcast for $10 off […]

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Why People Stay in Unhealthy Relationships - You Do Deserve to Be Happy!

Why do people stay in unhealthy relationships? Many don't believe they are deserving of happiness. Tony tackles this topic using "When You Don't Feel You Deserve to Be Happy" by Robert Taibbi as his muse and a post from his women's private Facebook group. The article can be found at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fixing-families/201901/when-you-feel-you-dont-deserve-be-happy Find all the latest […]

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Eating Chocolate - An Emotional Control Strategy or a Way to Stay Present?

Exercise, meditation, prayer, and eating good food all sound like wonderful, emotional-baseline-raising activities. But depending on how you're doing them, they could also be a way to eliminate unwanted thoughts and feelings. Tony looks at "creative helplessness" and "emotional control strategies" and how they play into our search for happiness. Tony references Russ Harris' book […]

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When the Student Becomes the Teacher - One Mother Opens Up to Her Adult Children

What is the best way to support somebody beginning to “wake up” to the narcissism or the emotional immaturity in their relationship but still willing to wait for a miracle to occur? And what if that “somebody” is a parent in a relationship with a step-parent that you’ve never really liked? And what that miracle […]

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A Cornucopia of Narcissism! Switzerland Friends, Confabulated Memory, Sitting w/Discomfort, Family Roles and More!

Tony discusses the differences between false memories and confabulation. He then reads a message from the "women in relationships with narcissistic 'fill in the blank'" Facebook group that leads to a breakdown of "Switzerland Friends," as well as how we deal with discomfort, as well as how "family systems theory" could provide an answer to […]

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